An Open Letter to the Client Who Ghosted

Dear Client,

I wanted to write a thank you note for all the trust you put in me to manage your health and fitness goals. I know you’re putting your all into your sessions, and I recognise the effort you put in – it’s wonderful to see you developing your confidence in the gym, and surprising yourself with what you’re capable of.

Sometimes, you don’t give yourself the credit you deserve. Don’t forget that progress isn’t always measured on the scale. Sometimes hitting fitness bench marks and calorie targets feel too difficult, but you’re growing in other areas too. You’re now confident to come in and use equipment safely, which you weren’t when we began.

You may not have noticed having more energy in other areas of your life; your work, your relationships, and being able to keep up with your children. You’re gaining confidence in other areas of your life too, outside of the gym, and that’s the stuff that really makes it worth it.

However, I want to talk to you about something else. You’re quiet, maybe you aren’t responding to my messages. We all go through periods where we need to be alone, and reflect on our own stuff – that’s cool, I don’t want to hassle you. But if there’s something bothering you, please let me know. Please don’t ghost me, because I care about you. If you aren’t sure how to have that conversation – a lapse in gym attendance, maybe you’ve lost the plot a bit with your eating – as difficult as that might be, please let me know. 

I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I do have empathy for the struggle. It’s not easy to talk about these things, but I can promise you hand on heart that I will never ever judge you. And I will help you to get these things back under control when you are ready.

If you’ve stopped communicating with me, it’s usually because you’re slipping in some aspect of our plan. Your food hasn’t been managed and the scale starts to reflect that. Sometimes you stop using the scale altogether. Sometimes the gym has become intimidating. Hell, sometimes leaving the house can be intimidating. And the thought of having to explain this to your trainer seems too much. 

Whatever problems you’re going through, it’s my job to help you sort them out. It’s exactly what you hired me to do when you first asked me to get involved. You aren’t the first client to have a wobble. Frankly, if people had it all together all of the time, I wouldn’t have a job. I don’t want to get on your case, but that’s sort of my responsibility too.

When you don’t respond to my messages, I don’t forget about you. I don’t get mad at you. I just think about you more because I care. I worry that you’re struggling and stressing yourself out about perceived failures. I know this worry deep inside because I’ve been there too – many, many times. It takes a while but you will realise that speaking up and reaching out is a massive win and the first step towards getting back on track. 

Failure can be really helpful. It can help us both have a greater understanding of those obstacles that we need to tackle together. The more I can understand the challenges you face, the better I can help you to avoid these mistakes in the future. But I can’t do that alone. I need your help – please talk to me.

Me and you are in this together. A team working on your goals. Your success is important to me, because you hired me on as your team mate. When we work together we progress – in many forms; physically, mentally, emotionally, socially. After our session is over, the process of continuing the hard work is back in your hands, and I’m on board to support you for as long as you let me.


Your friend, your personal trainer.

One thought on “An Open Letter to the Client Who Ghosted

  1. I can honestly say I’ve always felt supported and encouraged, and yep have had many slips off the wagon and a few mega binges.
    Throughout it all I appreciate that you’ve been there to guide me back on track.
    Thank you!

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